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Poligami dalam Islam

PENDAHULUAN

Poligami sering disalahpahami oleh masyarakat kita. Sebagian ada yang menganjurkan poligami dengan alasan sunah Rasul. Tapi ada juga yang justru melarangnya.

Poligami juga sering dijadikan alat oleh musuh-musuh Islam untuk menjelek-jelekkan ajaran Islam. Hal ini disebabkan oleh ketidakpahaman masyarakat terhadap poligami. Kerana itulah penting kiranya kita memahami hukum, kedudukan, dan aturan poligami dalam Islam.

DEFINISI DAN SEJARAH POLIGAMI

Dalam Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia, poligami yaitu seorang laki-laki beristri lebih dari seorang, dan poliandri adalah adat seorang perempuan bersuami lebih dari seorang.

Poligami sudah berlaku sejak jauh sebelum datangnya Islam. Poligami adalah masalah-masalah kemanusiaan yang tua sekali. Hampir seluruh bangsa di dunia, sejak zaman dahulu kala tidak asing dengan poligami.

Orang-orang Eropa (Rusia, Yugoslavia, Cekoslovakia, Jerman, Belgia, Belanda, Denmark, Swedia dan Inggris semuanya adalah bangsa-bangsa yang berpoligami.

Hendrik II, Hendrik IV, Lodeewijk XV, Rechlieu, dan Napoleon I adalah contoh orang-orang besar Eropa yang berpoligami secara illegal. Demikian juga bangsa-bangsa Timur seperti Ibrani dan Arab, mereka juga berpoligami.

Karena itu tidak benar apabila ada tuduhan bahwa Islamlah yang melahirkan aturan tentang poligami, sebab nyatanya yang berlaku sekarang ini juga hidup dan berkembang di negeri-negeri yang tidak menganut Islam, seperti Afrika, India, Cina dan Jepang.

Tidaklah benar jika poligami hanya terdapat di negeri-negeri Islam. (H.S.A. Alhamdani, Risalah Nikah : Hukum Perkawinan Islam, Jakarta : Pustaka Amani, 1980, hlm 80). Jadi poligami sudah ada jauh sebelum Islam datang, seiring dengan berjalannya peradaban manusia.

Ini menandakan bahwa poligami adalah bagian dari kecenderungan manusia. Islam datang hanya untuk mengaturnya. Demikianlah wataka ajaran Islam. Ia senantiasa selaras dengan watak alamiah manusia, tapi kemudian memberikan batasan dan aturan-aturan tertentu agar semuanya tidak melewati batas.

HUKUM POLIGAMI

Hukum poligami adalah mubah (boleh). Diperbolehkannya pun dengan syarat-syarat tertentu. Mungkin ada yang pernah dengar bahwa hukum poligami sunah. Betul, ya?

Baiklah, saya akan jelaskan dulu duduk persoalannya. Jadi pengertian sunah itu memang ada dua. Pertama, sunah adalah segala yang dilakukan, diucapkan, atau mendapat restu Nabi. Ini adalah pengertian sunah menurut ahli hadis. Menurut pengertian ini tentu saja tidak semua yang dilakukan Nabi/sunah kemudian berarti dianjurkan untuk dilakukan oleh umatnya. Dilihat dulu dalam hal apa dan bagaimana kedudukannya.

Kedua, adalah sunah dalam pengertian segala hal yang jika dikerjakan mendapat fahala, dan jika tidak dikerjakan tidak mendapat dosa.

Ini adalah pengertian sunah menurut ahli fikih, ahli hukum Islam. Sesuai dengan pengertian ini, sunah adalah sesuatu yang dianjurkan untuk dilakukan.

Poligami bisa disebut sunah dalam pengertian ahli hadis. Maksudnya bahwa Nabi Muhammad SAW juga poligami memang iya. Tapi apakah Nabi menganjurkan poligami? Ternyata tidak.

Karena itulah kalau bicara hukum, maka yang tepat bukan sunah, tapi mubah. Poligami hanya dibolehkan, dengan syarat-syarat tertentu. Dasar utama perkawinan dalam Islam adalah monogami. Tapi dalam kondisi tertentu, dan bagi orang yang memenuhi syarat tertentu maka dibolehkan poligami dengan batasan-batasan tertentu.

Dasar/dalil dibolehkannya poligami adalah firman Allah SWT:

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَىٰ فَانكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ

Artinya: “Jika kalian khawatir tidak bisa berbuat adil terhadap perempuan yatim (bila kalian menikahinya), maka nikahilah perempuan-perempuan lain yang halal bagi kalian untuk dinikahi; (apakah) dua, tiga, atau empat….” (QS. an-Nisa [4]: 3).

Hadits Ibnu Umar radhiyallahu ‘anhu yang menyebutkan bahwa Ghailan ibnu Salamah ats-Tsaqafi radhiyallahu ‘anhu masuk Islam dalam keadaan memiliki sepuluh istri yang dinikahinya di masa jahiliah, dan para istrinya ini masuk Islam bersamanya. Nabi Shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam pun memerintahkan agar Ghailan memilih empat dari mereka (dan menceraikan yang lain). (HR. at-Tirmidzi no. 1128, dinyatakan sahih dalam Shahih Sunan at-Tirmidzi)

Di dunia Barat, poligami sangat dibenci. Poligami dinyatakan tidak cocok dengan hak asasi manusia. Poligami menempatkan wanita secara tidak adil. Tapi anehnya mereka memperbolehkan zina.

Berhubungan badan dengan berapa wanita pun diperbolehkan asalkan itu dilakukan mau sama mau dan di luar pernikahan alias zina. Tanpa ada konsekuensi ikatan tanggungjawab satu sama lain. Aneh, kan? Jadi siapa sebenarnya yang melecehkan wanita?

SYARAT POLIGAMI

Sebelumnya telah disebutkan bahwa poligami diperbolehkan bagi laki-laki yang memenuhi syarat-syarat tertentu. Dengan kata lain, tidak semua laki-laki boleh dan bisa melakukan poligami. Syarat-syarat tersebut, sebagaimana disebutkan dalam Kompilasi Hukum Islam (KHI), yaitu:

  1. Mampu bertanggungjawab.

Laki-laki yang mau berpoligami harus mempunyai kemampuan mental dan material. Kemampuan mental adalah kemampuan leadership dan spiritual. Laki-laki adalah pemimpin keluarga. Karena itulah ia harus mempunyai skill leadership  yang baik. Dia adalah laki-laki yang mampu membimbing keluarganya. Selanjutnya adalah kemampuan material atau finansial. Ia harus mempunyai pendapatan yang cukup sehingga dapat memenuhi tanggungjawabnya dalam memberikan nafkah kepada seluruh anggota keluarganya.

  1. Berbuat adil.

Ia harus mampu berbuat adil kepada kedua istrinya. Tidak boleh ia terlalu cenderung atau pilih kasih kepada salah satu istrinya. Allah SWT berfirman:

فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ

Artinya: “Namun, bila kalian khawatir tidak bisa berlaku adil (di antara para istri bila sampai kalian memiliki lebih dari satu istri) maka nikahilah satu istri saja atau mencukupkan dengan budak perempuan yang kalian miliki….” (QS. an-Nisa[4]: 3).

مَنْ كَانَتْ لَهُ امْرَأَتَانِ فَمَالَ إِلَى إِحْدَاهُمَا، جَاءَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَ شِقُّه مَائِلٌ

Artinya: “Siapa yang memiliki dua istri lantas condong kepada salah seorang dari keduanya (berlaku tidak adil) maka ia akan datang pada hari kiamat dalam keadaan sebelah tubuhnya miring.” (HR. Abu Dawud no. 2133, an-Nasa’i no. 3942, dinyatakan sahih dalam Shahih Abi Dawud, Shahih an-Nasa’i, dan Irwa’ul Ghalil no. 2017 ) Dalam Aunul Ma’bud (“Kitab an Nikah”, bab “Fi ‘al-Qasmi Baina an- Nisa’”)

  1. Ada ijin dari istri sebelumnya.

Sebelum berpoligami harus mendapatkan ijin terlebih dahulu dari istri sebelumnya. Tidak boleh seorang laki-laki berpoligami tanpa ijin dari istri sebelumnya. Jadi sebelum berpoligami mesti dimusyarahkan terlebih dahulu dengan istri sebelumnya.

  1. Tidak lebih dari 4 (empat) istri.

Bagaimana pun keadaannya, poligami hanya diijinkan terbatas pada empat orang istri. Meskipun misalnya ada yang merasa mampu beristri lebih dari empat, itu tetap tidak diperbolehkan.[]

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