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Hubungan Seksual Itu Penting

hubungan seksual
hubungan seksual

Apakah anda pernah menolak untuk melakukan hubungan seksual dengan pasangan anda? Jika iya, maka itu adalah kesalahan terbesar dalam hidup anda.

Tahukah bahwa tindakan anda adalah benih utama lahirnya pertengkaran?

Kalau pertengkaran itu tidak terjadi dalam waktu dekat, maka ketahuilah bahwa sesungguhnya anda telah berinvestasi untuk datangnya pertengkaran itu di kemudian hari.

Anda telah menanam benihnya dan suatu saat anda akan memanennya.

Tahukah anda bahwa penolakan untuk melakukan hubungan seksual akan terekam dalam memori pasangan anda dan sulit untuk dihapuskan.

Dan… memori itu akan menjadi bara yang siap menyala sewaktu-waktu ada sehelai kertas di atasnya.

Hubungan seks itu sangat penting. Tak peduli bagi orang alim maupun orang yang biasa-biasa saja agamanya.

Penelitian Baumeister menemukan bahwa tak ada hubungan antara tingkat religius seseorang (terutama laki-laki) dengan adanya hasrat seksual.

Singkatnya, meskipun seseorang sangat alim, hasrat seksual tinggi, ya tetap saja tinggi.

Makanya (mohon maaf), tidak heran kalau banyak ustadz yang berpoligami. Kalau orang tak tau ilmunya tentu bertanya-tanya, kenapa justru yang tau agama malah semakin maruk kawin, ya?

Justru para ustadz itu tahu caranya. Tahu cara yang halal untuk mengantisipasi hasrat seksualnya. Tahu ilmunya.

Apakah anda tahu bahwa itu watak kebanyakan naluri seks laki-laki? Tahukan anda bahwa yang tidak berpoligami pun sebenarnya juga mencari pelampiasan lain secara diam-diam?

Atau anda memilih suami anda melampiaskan dalam bentuk kemarahan dan perangai-perangai buruk lain?

Jadi hasrat seksual tak selalu identik dengan keburukan. Orang yang hasrat seksualnya tinggi sama sekali tidak identik dengan orang porno. Perhatikan itu.

Bukannya saya ingin ngompor-ngomporin para suami untuk poligami, ya. Bukan juga saya ingin memanas-manasin para istri.

Tapi mari setidaknya kita sadar akan hal ini. Bahwa hubungan seksual itu penting menjadi perhatian para suami istri.

Sayangnya, kebanyakan orang menganggap masalah seks ini tabu. Bahkan ada yang menahan-nahan melakukan hubungan seksual meski hasrat sudah memuncak hanya gara-gara malu nanti dibilangan porno sama pasangannya.

Atau sebaliknya, ada yang menolak melakukan hubungan seksual sementara pasangannya menginginkannya. Sekali lagi ini adalah kesalahan besar.

Jadi sekali lagi saya tegaskan, SOAL SEKS ITU PENTING!

Karena pentingnya masalah ini, sampai-sampai Rasulullah SAW, manusia paling suci, pun turut membicarakan hal ini. Coba perhatikan sabda Rasulullah SAW berikut ini.

إِذَا الرَّجُلُ دَعَا زَوْجَتَهُ فَلْتَأْتِهِ وَ إِنْ كَانَتْ عَلَى التَّنُّوْرِ

Artinya: “Apabila seorang suami mengajak istrinya untuk berkumpul hendaknya wanita itu mendatanginya sekalipun dia berada di dapur.” (HR. Tirmidzi: 4/387; dinilai shahih oleh Al-Albani dalam Shahih At-Targhib: 2/199).

Meski sedang berada di dapur, seandainya suami tiba-tiba mengajak melakukan hubungan seksual, maka hentikan aktifitas dan tunaikan ajakan suami.

Kemudian dalam hadis lain beliau juga bersabda:

إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ اِمْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَأَبَتْ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا لَعَنَتْهَا اَلْمَلآئِكَةُ حَتىَّ تُصْبِحَ

Artinya: “Apabila suami mengajak istrinya ke tempat tidurnya lalu istri enggan sehingga suami marah pada malam harinya, malaikat melaknat sang istri sampai waktu subuh.” (HR. Bukhari: 11/14).

Kedengarannya mungkin agak ekstrem. Atau barangkali ada yang menuduh ini sebagai hadis porno.

Apalagi kalau melihat sudut pandang para aktivis jender. Hadis ini pasti akan dituduh melecehkan perempuan.

Jika memang itu anggapan dan tafsir anda, maka anda telah melakukan kesalahan besar pada urusan yang amat penting ini. Tunggulah akibat dari cara pandang itu.

Dari situlah salah satu sumbu utama pertengkaran suami istri yang berujung pada perselingkuhan, bahkan perceraian.

Padahal seharusnya urusan ranjang ini jika dapat memanfaatkannya dengan baik dapat menjadi formula yang ampuh untuk mengatasi berbagai permasalahan.

Sekarang mari kita bahas mengapa di situ subyeknya laki-laki. Laki-laki yang mengajak dan istri yang berpotensi menolak.

Ternyata ini bukan sembarang hadis. Hadis ini ternyata sesuai dengan fakta ilmiah bahwa hasrat seksual laki-laki lebih besar daripada perempuan.

Menurut sebuah laporan oleh Roy Baumeister, seorang psikolog di Florida State University, mayoritas pria dewasa yang usianya di bawah 60 tahun berpikir tentang seks setidaknya sekali sehari, 2 kali lebih sering dibanding perempuan. (https://hellosehat.com).

Roy juga menemukan bahwa hasrat seksual pria bersifat spontan dan fantasi seks mereka lebih bervariasi dibanding wanita.

Jika hasratnya tak tersalurkan ia cenderung untuk melampiaskan pada hal lain seperti  masturbasi atau bahkan selingkuh.

Saya ingin mengakhiri tulisan ini dengan cuplikan ceramah nasihat pernikahan. Dulu, sering saya mendengar para ustadz sambil melucu berpesan kepada para jamaah perempuan: ”Ibu-ibu… kalau di rumah, malam hari, biasakan dandan. Jangan hanya waktu keluar rumah. Dan… jangan lupa, sebelum tidur tawarin dulu suami,”Mas malam ini mau… enggak?”

Terdengar bercanda memang. Tapi sesungguhnya itu pesan yang sangat tepat. Pesan inti yang dapat menjadi sumbu utama keharmonisan rumah tangga.

Tahukah bahwa bertumpuk-tumpuk masalah yang dihadapi suami anda dapat sirna sedemikian rupa hanya karena senyum cerah anda di atas ranjang?

Tahukan wahai para istri bahwa dengan hal sederhana itu anda dapat menyelesaikan banyak masalah dan menghadirkan ketenteraman bagi suami dan rumah tangga anda?

Jadi jangan berpikir lagi hal ini tabu. Anda adalah pasangan yang sah. Bahwa hasrat seksual adalah naluri manusia yang suci.

Karena itulah Allah SWT mensyariatkan pernikahan agar hasrat itu tersalurkan, sekali lagi saya ulangi, “agar tersalurkan” pada hal yang halal.

Bukan lagi tabu, tapi  justru mendatangkan pahala. Rasulullah SAW bersabda:

وَفِى بُضْعِ أَحَدِكُمْ صَدَقَةٌ ». قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَيَأْتِى أَحَدُنَا شَهْوَتَهُ وَيَكُونُ لَهُ فِيهَا أَجْرٌ قَالَ « أَرَأَيْتُمْ لَوْ وَضَعَهَا فِى حَرَامٍ أَكَانَ عَلَيْهِ فِيهَا وِزْرٌ فَكَذَلِكَ إِذَا وَضَعَهَا فِى الْحَلاَلِ كَانَ لَهُ أَجْرٌ »

 

Artinya: “Dan hubungan intim di antara kalian adalah sedekah.” Para sahabat bertanya, “Wahai Rasulullah, bagaimana bisa mendatangi istri dengan syahwat (disetubuhi) bisa bernilai pahala?” Ia berkata, “Bagaimana pendapatmu jika ada yang meletakkan syahwat tersebut pada yang haram (berzina) bukankah bernilai dosa? Maka sudah sepantasnya meletakkan syahwat tersebut pada yang halal mendatangkan pahala.” (HR. Muslim no. 1006).

Ibadah mana lagi yang lebih mudah ketimbang hal ini? Demikian tulisan yang berjudul “Hubungan Seksual Itu Penting”, semoga bermanfaat. []

About Mr Tohirin

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